Accidentally Marrying My Best Friend
I thought marrying my best friend would give me everything I needed.
When I married her, I thought I was making the most intelligent decision of my life. She was my best friend — someone I trusted completely and could talk to about anything. Our relationship felt solid, secure, and comforting. But as the years passed, I realised that maybe I had made a mistake. Maybe I confused safety with love.
We were always great friends; I believed that would naturally translate into a great marriage. But somewhere along the way, it stopped feeling like a romantic relationship. Now, we’re more like roommates or even siblings. There’s no spark, no excitement. We don’t touch, we don’t kiss, and sex has become non-existent. It’s as if the passion was never there in the first place, or maybe we just buried it under the layers of comfort and routine.
I can’t help but wonder if she chose me for the same reason I chose her — because it was easy. It wasn’t the burning, all-consuming love I hear other people talk about, but rather the calm, steady companionship we both thought would last a lifetime. But what if we both settled? What if neither of us really felt that pull, that fire that makes you want to be with someone, not just because it’s comfortable, but because you can’t imagine your life without them?
The worst part is I love her. I really do. She’s kind, funny, and always knows how to make me laugh. But deep down, I know we’re missing something crucial. There’s no passion between us anymore, and I’m starting to fear there never was. I’ve tried to convince myself that love doesn’t have to be fiery, that it can be quiet and steady. But now, that quiet feels suffocating.
I thought marrying my best friend would give me everything I needed. But now, I realise that friendship alone isn’t enough to sustain a marriage. And I’m left questioning if we made a choice out of love or if we both just chose the safer path.
-M
Originally published at https://michaelformanwriting.com on September 19, 2024.